What happens when the star falls

Im washed up. I’m a has been. Ive had my moment in the sun and now the night has set in. When people speak of washed up reality stars, I felt the pain. I know what its like. I was that has been.

A poster in a break room told me that I would be a star. It said sign up, so I did. Then I was a supermarket shop assistant but if I signed up, I could be a supermarket shop assistant on TV and star in a Woolworth's commercial.

To be fair it wasn't that big of deal, I just sent in a photo and filled out a form then I was booked in to audition. I arrived at the audition late in the day, the audition directer had already seen his fair share of wanna be actors more so wannabe superstars for like the lure of reality television many saw this as their big break. He was tired and asked if I could come back the next day. I had to work, it was today or nothing.

I went into the room facing the camera, he sat me in front a proceeded to ask questions about my cooking habits, I responded honestly stating that since I still lived with my parents, I didn't cook much at all. I spun some story about stir fry and hammed it up a bit in front of the camera. It was easy to do as the camera an I are old friends, you don’t spend years working behind a camera without gaining some insight as to how to look into one.

The director was happy with the performance and hinted that I might just have the gig.

I left the audition feeling all giddy, I was going to be a star!

I got a letter with a date for a second audition, this time with the director of the commercial as well as the previous audition director. In a tiny studio in St Kilda I again sat in from of a camera however this time I had lines. I read something about Woolworth's having all of your christmas needs, Ham and Lobster. 

“That’s not kosher” I stated.

“are you Jewish?” the commercial director asked.

“No,” I replied, “I just have a big nose, curly hair and happen to be called Benjamin.”

Awkward racial humor but I got a laugh and a positive response to my “acting”, so much so that unofficially gave me a role in the ad.

I didn't think much of the ad until weeks later when the manager came up to me and said congratulations.

“why?” I asked

“you got the role in the ad” he stated casually

“shit!” I exclaimed and then promptly apologized for exclaiming.

I flew up to Brisbane for a weekend for the shooting of the ad, all expenses paid of course.

On the Sunday we drove out to the store in the middle of nowhere, we had to shoot in Queensland as its the only state that has stores closed on a Sunday.Amid the craziness of the film set, I did my line.

“and some tender Woolworth's select frozen peas and mashed potatoes”

Then I added my own ad-lib.

“Its too easy”

I got it it three shots. They then took my photo from many angles and that was it. I was done. For the rest of the day I just sat around and ate from the catering truck. 

The ad was forgotten for months until one day I got an invitation to a managers meeting and the launch of the new commercial campaign.

All the state managers and assistant managers were hustled into a large auditorium where the general manager spoke like a televangelist about how great Woolworth's was. Then they showed the ads.

All.

Except.

Mine.

The marketing manager rose to thank all the participants, she read out the names, calling us to stand as our names were. 

As my name was read, it a fit of indignation, I exclaimed, “you cut me!”

The room went silent, the marketing manager looked awkward and tried to carry on, I just stood there shrugging at her. She continued with her spiel.

After the event I caught up with some of my “co-stars”, we decided to consume as much as the free spread as we could a a form of subtle revenge.

I watched a bit of TV after that though I never did see the ad. Thus I was like the reality stars spoken of; promised fame and perhaps fortune but ultimately paid minimum wage and cut from the show. I had signed a contact stating that they could use my image to sell their product and like reality television the “performer” ultimately has no say in how they are portrayed. I was shown the way that the producers wanted not the way that I really am. In reality I hate frozen peas and would never endorse their consumption.